Developing our relationships is among the most important reasons we are here, yet our relationship with our self defines the perimeters for all our relationships.
Think about that. Let that sink in, weigh it and consider how many of us generally have a challenge taking care of our self. We see ourselves separate, distinct and apart from everyone, everything, including – especially apart from The One (how ever we each define our God – The Force – Creator – Creative/Universal Presence). [continue reading…]
It’s an understatement (but please bear with me) to say our history clearly shows the development of humankind and how lifestyles have changed. Through the ‘Hunter-Gathers,’ ‘Agriculture,’ ‘Industrial,’ and now the post industrial ages, eight (8) major waves of consciousness we have or are evolving/developing through have been identified/acknowledged by Ken Wilber, Clare Graves and Spiral Dynamics among others.
For a moment, let’s compare our evolution to computers. The first computer (ENIAC) was built in 1946. In 1974, Intel introduced its 8080 chip and personal computers were not far behind. In 1969, Apollo 11 was America’s first moon landing. That trip required computers similar to ENIAC. Computers that required an entire office floor, with a cost of a million dollars or more, and an air conditioner(s) to keep cool. Today, we (you and I) likely have greater computing power in our smartphone, laptop or personal computer, yet we’re wishing it were faster and did more! The crucial point being – at the start of each of the computer’s prior stages, to suggest what is standard today, was beyond comprehension. [continue reading…]
We have two selves, our personal self (lowercase self) and our Inner Self (uppercase Self). Our self is our body, our vehicle for experiencing our journey, while our Self is our connection with the Source, The One, the Creative Force Presence of everyone and everything.
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
For all the advice to improve getting along with others through ‘Give and Take,’ why aren’t we getting along better? Why is it there seems to be an actual increase in people not getting along?
Paradoxically, although it makes sense in theory, in practice ‘Give and Take’ is one-sided. Too often the ‘Giver’ picks what they’re willing to give, and then they pick what they want to take from the other.
I’m feeling good. I’ve got a great idea, shared my thoughts when another asks: “May I be brutally honest?” The natural reaction is “Sure.” I’m feeling on top the world, being open, receptive and vulnerable. Mistake. Big mistake!
The other person now feels authorized and compelled to blast away. Almost without fail, the blasting was already there. A chip on the shoulder, waiting for a target, and now it has one – me.
These are powerful words from the Master Jedi, Yoda, in the movie Star Wars. They were adopted by our culture, in word only, because its meaning is not understood and therefore its power to inspire, drive and sustain our commitment is lost.
Why? The message is received as accomplish or not. I immediately liked these words and wanted the empowering inspiration they convey, but I wrestled with them for years. While I wanted the empowerment of saying I ‘Do,’ in fact I had not yet succeeded in my task and felt that claiming ‘I do’ was deceptive because I hadn’t yet succeeded.
There’s an assault on our senses (touch, visual, auditory, mental, taste). Like a young child kicking us in the knees, our attention is repeatedly being beckoned by so many different stories, needs, desires, each vying for our attention. Researchers receive billions for researching how to push our buttons to get our attention, whet our appetite and awaken our interest for more of what they offer.
Skillfully responding to ‘It’s not about you’ is about developing and maintaining strong personal boundaries and learning new skills that facilitate maintaining your power under duress.
Sometimes it’s when someone thinks we’re oversold on our self and we’re (to them anyway) acting like the world owes us. On the other hand, it may be a mistaken certainty (we’re certain but later discover we were mistaken) and we have erroneously claimed responsibility for something gone wrong – but it isn’t our fault! We were mistakenly connecting separate points to explain/understand why things happened the way they did. An easy example is parents getting a divorce and their children mistakenly presume it was their fault, something they did.
In Chicken Soup For The Soul, there is a story about a young boy, under 12 as I recall, visiting his grandpa on his ranch. They’re horseback riding on a very narrow ledge, rounding the curve of a steep mountain, when suddenly they discover a fallen tree blocks their trail. The trail is too narrow to turn their horses around; they cannot go around the tree; going up the mountain’s steep grade is the only viable course of action available to them. The grandson is nervous, uncertain and becoming increasingly scared.
The grandpa tells his grandson they’re going up the side of the mountain and to watch him then do what he did. He digs his heels into the horse’s side and he heads up the mountain. After getting to the next ledge, grandpa looks down and tells his grandson “Now, you do it.” The grandson, scared as he is, closes his eyes and does what grandpa says. When he gets to the ledge with grandpa, grandpa congratulates him but tells him when he closed his eyes – he missed the best part!
Regardless of whether society has been the force to or a process of human advancement, looking around, we can’t help but see worldwide social erosion — society’s upheaval of established social order.
It’s reasonable to ask: What’s going on?